Friday 16 July 2010

After Vipassana

Friday, 16.07, in Manali

VIPASSANA course...
...
I imprisoned my body to free my mind
...


Since I left Vipassana on Monday morning some days left, enough time to gain distance/to organize thoughts/impressions/ to solidify/become clearer/to manifest/adopt that experience (to daily life).

Vipassana is a technique, AN ART OF LIFE... to live aware, equanimous, inner peace, in harmony in the moment!!!

Before all, I only can roughly describe all the experience I witnessed-
hence you cant describe it you have to do it!!

Over all it was a very important and deep experience in my life!!!

I will say, some knots in my mind become less settle/beginning to loosen/ease...life is being aware from moment to moment... i will keep walking the path of truth...DHAMMA



It was not easy. It was hard work! Often i was thinking to run away. But I worked hard, i stayed, i strive to look forward. Struggle to overcome my Ego. I got soo much reward.

First time in my life I really look inside myself. I dedicated 10 days to work HARD on myself. To observe myself. To sharpen my mind, my awareness. Everybody who knows me at least a bit, knows that I normally cant even sit 5 minutes calm on a chair without running around. Well I DEVELOPED among other skills/qualities to sit more than a hour without changing position; Patience-10 days long ca 10,5h a day observing breath, observing bio chemical reactions on the body -- to concentrate on myself... to develop discipline, awareness, sharpen mind and patience.

Its about to become Master of your own Mind instead of continuing as SLAVE, following blind the own EGO...like stick and the carrot.

To develop an balanced, calm, aware, equanimous Mind full of HARMONY, inner peace, compassion!



This video is from a speech of the most influential teacher of vipassana Mr GOENKA at UN General Assembly in 2000. He is appreciated as one of India's SPIRITUAL LEADERS



IN a way this 10 days were long.... i depended you I focused on. e.g. the end of day 3. I was thinking wow already 3 days of hard working and I fulfilled. On the other hand 7 left...bit disappointed... BUT sometimes I gained to FORGET the number of days... ONLY TO FOCUS ON THAT CERTAIN, PARTICULAR MOMENT

The whole Vipassana center is located on a small hill in midst of daramkot (Upper Mcleod Ganj). The guesthouse i stayed all the 10m nights before is few hundreds meter in distance to here. Thanks to the trees the are seems as a BUBBLE for me... one way bubble...u could here sound from outside... As a metaphor, it was like a "bug in the matrix" dis linked from outside world although so close by; timeless...after the course when i talked to malte- he told me about his 11 days... for me it felt like i would have returned from a outer space trip - in where u spend some time (12days) and u come back and here only 2 minutes had passed... :)


I had some songs in mind...which reflected kind of feelings at some certain parts/epochs of vipassana course.

Breathe by Prodigy -->
At the beginning it was hard. My mind was wandering to the past, to the future...all except focusing to observe my breath...this song with all its "aggression", power, restlessness reflects pretty well my wandering mind...


body is a cage by arcade fire --> I am a bad, miserable, egocentric person; i was thinking-, it became clear for me...I saw myself as i am; not as I like to see/precept me that I am but as I want be to be...



when the man comes around by johnny cash
--> world is full of misery


Like a rolling stone by Bob Dylan (how does it feel to be on your OWN) --> SILENCE


Wishlist by Peral Jam --> "I am bad person, I will change"



Teardrop by Massive Attack
everything is in a constant flux. Nothing is permanent. Impermanence. The body, the environment everything is "made" out of neutrons, electrons, protons (and even smaller parts) which are in super high speed vibrations - billions of times in 1 second..HENCE it doesn't make any sense to attach so much sorrow, aversion, craving on tangible as well intangible things, status, creed, or to only categorize into pleasant and unpleasant...


Intervention by arcade fire Its in my own hands to live a happy, inner-peaceful, harmonic LIFE


Half Asleep by School of Seven Bells --> I no longer want to be a sleeping slave of my mind i want to become master of it! Time to wake up!


All in my head by Kosheen
--> Its up to me to develop my mind to follow the Dhamma (path) to a balanced mind!


Where does the good go by Tegan and sarah --> well, where all the good goes? who knows? Up in the air like warm air? The question is from where (all) the good comes... FROM INSIDE...


Given to fly by Pearl Jam
--> I spread my wings and fly...above the peaceful landscape...hate, misery seems so small from this perspective


Silence is golden by The Tremeloes -->I was surprised how much i like totally silent/silence. Normally silence sometimes means emptiness to me, this 10 day it sharpened as well my mind. It filled the space, my day. I had so much attention and energy left cause of not speaking. E.g. the taste of food was more intensive, i took more time to eat; generally my perception was more aware...i felt a bit irritated to start again to speak...first chats were so loud in my ear, i don't felt comfortable with...


All is full of love by Bjoerk --> Be aware of the truth, of the reality as it is from monet to moment not as I like it to be...


Lucky man by The Verve
--> I feel happy when i look inside me, to be satisfied of what is ALREADY there, no selfmade conventions to follow blind (EGO), with this peaceful harmony i look outside... I like to share to feel harmony!!

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